Let it go
Midnight note / Daily writing №9
I am looking forward to not sleep tonight. As long as I finish the two assignments, I can sleep tomorrow till mid-afternoon. So, it’s alright. Regardless of how much I tried and focused well today, I haven’t yet finished important tasks of the day. Although I read all day to write essay, I am just beginning to write it now. Hope I am going to finish it by tonight, otherwise deadline is around the corner…
In the morning, I read the book or watch the educational videos with coffee. To keep the writing, I need to explore various things where I got inspiration to write. Actually, video that I watched earlier gave me this topic to write. I watched the video named Taoism: Power of Letting go. Somehow, the calmness came to me like I have just done meditation after I watched that. In this uncertain time, it’s overwhelming to think about future. I don’t know what to expect from the future. Is it going to be turned out okay or not? Should I need to plan my future or not? My visa is expiring within few months. What should I do next? If I continue to be here, will I got the chance to get a job and keep going? It’s a scary because I couldn’t fully predict. My self/ego who likes to control everything by her planning needs to accept the uncertainty of the future.
I used to be a perfectionist who was terrified of making mistakes. Of course I am human and I made mistakes (a lot!). Even in this writing journey, I wanted to give up. Because I thought that I don’t write well, no one is interested in my writing, and I wish write smart things like her or him.
Over the course of time, I realized that there is no way to escape the mistake! Haha, poor perfectionist self has to accept this fact and keep going. I made terrible mistakes and I learned to accept myself as I am and continue to go further and deeper. In other words, I am trying to build resilience in myself. I am learning to let go of outcomes. I stopped these negative thoughts and decided to continue just for my own enjoyment. I need to I accept that there’re things I couldn’t control even though I did my best.
To overcome the perfectionism and loosen the control of every aspect of life, I need to adopt the ART of LET GO.
Let go of perfectionism.
Let go of control everything.
Let go of past.
Live now.
